Wedding Rings and Other Things

So I had a few moments to share with a new bride.  I gave her the usual…I am so happy for you…Congratulations…You are just glowing…Ooh let me see your ring….

A pang of jealously shot through me as she lifted her hand to me – adorned by a huge cushion cut diamond surrounded by rows of tiny diamonds all around the center stone and all around the band.  It sparkled and glistened as she turned it this way and that.

For some reason I wanted to show her my ring, too.  But as I glanced down on the outdated setting, scratched, bent and in need of a cleaning. I stopped and covered my hand.  I wanted to tell her that her ring won’t always be so shiny and new, gradually it begins to fade.  The years take their toll, styles change, dirt sets in.  I’m glad that I didn’t say it to her, though.  I know the point that I wanted to make to her would not have come out of my mouth right in that passing moment we shared.

So I will tell you now, my newly married young friend, like your beautiful, beautiful wedding ring, your marriage right now is shiny and new.  Sparkly and happy.  When you see your husband in a different light, you learn something new about him.  You glisten with this new, exciting love.  It is truly a wonderful time and I want you to cherish every moment of it.

But over time, your ring might get dinged or scratched.  You no longer have time to go get it cleaned, maybe the stone will fall out, maybe you will lose the whole thing.  Sometimes it will look like it will never shine again, and then with a little effort it is sparkling again.

When I looked at my wedding ring that night, I saw the scratches, the gold worn so thin it may crack.  I saw the setting that is a tad out of style.  The stone that is not so huge. The nicks in the soft metal.

Looking at it again, this ring that has been on my finger for almost twenty-five years, I see the nicks and scratches that have come through hard work we have gone through together . It  fits a bit snug now – after having three children with this wonderful man. It may not be the biggest diamond you will see – but when he bought it, it cost him nearly everything had.  It does not shine the way it once did, but that is because I have been wearing it through every single minute of dishes and laundry and diapers and birthdays, drying tears and wiping boogers.

This ring – has been with us through everything. Times when our love was new and sparkly. Times when it was nearly lost.  The carat and clarity of the stone do not matter nearly as much as our commitment to each other and the life and family we have created.

So my young friend, cherish your beautiful new ring.  Cherish your beautiful new marriage.  As you gaze into the stone, see your future together.  Be willing to get it a little dirty and to work very, very hard. And don’t ever, ever take it off.